1)
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
STUDENT: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
STUDENT: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
3)
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
老师：韦利，说一样今天非常重要而在十年前还没出现的东西。
韦利：我！
4)
TEACHER: Alfred, how can one person make so many stupid mistakes in
one day?
ALFRED: I get up early.
老师：艾尔弗雷，一个人怎么能在一天中犯那么多愚蠢的错误？
艾尔弗雷：因为我起得早。
5)
TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you
to keep yours.
9)
TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
老师：我希望我没发现你在看堂的试卷。
约翰：我也希望这样。
10)
GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.
嘉利：我想我这次测验不应该得零分。
老师：我同意你的看法，但这是我能给你打的最低分。
11)
MOTHER: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
JUNIOR: Because of absence.
MOTHER: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
JUNIOR: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
15)
HYGIENE TEACHER: How can you prevent disease caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.
卫生老师：怎样才能防止病从口入？
乔斯：什么都别吃。
16)
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
老师：艾伦，请用“I”开头造一个句子。
艾伦：I is...
老师：不，艾伦。应该说“I am”。
艾伦：好吧......“我是字母表中的第九个字母。”
（注，正确的句子应该是"I is the ninth letter of the alphabet." I 总跟 am 搭配吗？未必!!）
17）
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
代课老师：你是（在）吃口香糖吧？
比利：不，我是比利. 安德森。
18)
MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
JUNIOR : You said it was my lunch money.
母亲：你为什么竟然把我给你的钱吞下去了？
儒尼尔：你说过这是给我的午饭钱嘛。
19)
TEACHER: If you received $10 from 10 people, what would you get?
SARAH: A new bike.
老师：如果有10个人，每人给你10美元，你将会得到多少钱？
莎拉：一辆新自行车。
（注："what would you get?"还可理解为“你将会得到什么？”）
20)
TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
老师：如果你已经有一美元，然后向你爸爸再要一美元，你将会有多少美元？
文森特：一美元。
21)
TEACHER(sadly): You don't know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don't know my father.
老师（忧伤地）：你不懂算术。
文森特（忧伤地）：你不懂（认识我父亲。
22)
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the
other, what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
23)
BOY: Isn't the principal(校长） a dummy!
GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
BOY: No.
GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
BOY: And do you know who I am?
GIRL: No.
BOY: Thank goodness!